human!Angel/Buffy with a side of remembered Spike/Angel and Spike/Buffy. Post NFA poetrydrabblething. Originally posted: 28th November, 2006
.
Life?
A fluttering pulse under the palm of my hand.
Life pumping.
thump
One beat.
thump
Two beat.
An echoing chorus of itself.
Warm body, moving against my fingers.
It tickles you say.
Laughter in my ear,
a whispering breath against my neck,
an answering pulse.
We’re two now.
Your skin is still so soft,
like smoothest silk wrapped around bones and flesh.
But now there are shades of color,
blushes of heat, fanning across your throat, chest,
blood flowing underneath the surface.
Alive.
I cannot stop touching.
The warmth heating me up from outside,
a heart sounding against mine.
Your throat feel so vulnerable now,
a moving flutter against my hand,
like butterfly wings beneath the skin.
Kisses like desire made new,
you taste the same,
yet new.
Slick heat, salty sweat,
pearls to chase with my tongue.
Heat spilling inside me,
and hot breath in my ear,
life and living.
New thing.
Terrifying thing.
Love(ly) thing.
Everything needs to be taken in,
tasted, touched and felt.
Fresh crayfish and hot butter off the stand,
licking your fingers and childlike wonder at the taste and smell.
Standing in the rain and not worry when the clouds move away.
Chasing the waves, sand in your hair,
skin burned by the sun, and it’s all still good.
It’s all new,
like life before second death never counted,
the life forgotten to be done anew.
Like you cannot stop moving,
afraid you might miss something.
Die before you can experience it.
Like you suddenly have a clock ticking inside your chest.
tick
One beat.
tick
Two beat.
Time slowly killing you.
Us.
Humanity.
-
Is this my redemption?
Is this what I wanted?
What I want?
Changed into something else,
reborn like a caterpillar,
to be cocooned.
Needing to bury the old,
for the new to erupt.
Sunbeams dancing as you move, bend and twist,
arching on my fingers as they curl inside you.
The power shifts,
inside and out.
Strange to be the weaker one,
yet so much bigger than you.
Still feel like I could hold you in the palm of my hand,
cherished and protected.
Give and take,
new shades of the old.
Learning each other,
new weaknesses and strengths.
Is it still me you see?
Am I too human for you now?
-
He sees us watching him,
in the glance of an eye.
I see him watching you,
wonders at the new you.
Sharp comments in hidden grief.
He hides in the shadows,
alone and left behind.
Split apart by sun, a beating heart,
life.
And inside I still remeber the chill of his touch.
Know you do too.
Read it in his eyes.
Like dusty fingerprints,
tainted memory from another life.
You find it in his eyes still,
memories that stay as fresh as they day you made them,
vivid as the day you told me about your family.
Deeds done, desire and wickedness,
pure hearts and devoured souls.
Blood and fear, all trapped inside.
Ensouled guilt you never lost.
He watches us now.
Our lives slowly changing with time.
thump/tick
One beat.
thump/tick
Two beat.
Will he stay till the circle is closed?
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